Nicole Laino 

Hello, and welcome to the limitless entrepreneur podcast. I’m your host, Nicole Laino. And I am here with a very special guest. I feel like I feel the soul sister vibe with her already. And I’m very excited to bring her to the show. Her name is Jen Szpiegel. And Jen is the founder and CEO of becoming iconic a seven figure Global Business and Leadership brand that elevates entrepreneurs who desire to create a seven figure legacy through integral leadership. She’s also the host of the becoming iconic podcast, which is about the real the raw, the vulnerable truth and being a female entrepreneur while weaving in the practicality on what it takes to design a life in business you love. Now, what I really love about this is you you I think there’s always a there’s a soul sister vibe here. You even the strategy, you believe in real clear business strategy, as well as embracing the feminine energy and embracing the more expansive nature of growing a business that it’s not all about the strategy. So I’m excited for our conversation. I’m excited to have you here. What did I miss in that bio that you wanted the audience to know?

Jen Szpiegel 

Well, thank you for having me. It’s such a treat to be here. And I appreciate this immensely appreciate deep meaningful conversations, my love language, you know, that bio really sums up a lot of who I am and what I stand for in life in business, but I am a mom of four. So I have four kids, I’ve been maneuvering for the last 16 years. So I feel like I can talk about a lot and carry a lot of expertise and wisdom just by navigating those two worlds for a long time. So it’s an exciting place to be. But I will say at the same time we were talking just before we hit record, it’s always new territory, because we really are blazing a trail currently.

Nicole Laino 

It’s so true. And that is what I want to focus on in this episode. Because I want to first I want to ask you, what, what do you see as shifting in the paradigm of leadership for specifically for female entrepreneurs?

Jen Szpiegel 

Yeah, a lot. That’s a big mouthful for me. Specifically, I feel like we are being called into big personal responsibility. As women we’ve been really good at fitting the narratives, haven’t we we’ve just kind of fit in, we’ve done things really well. We’re really tidy. I think we’re just really tidy. We know how to juggle a lot of balls, we’ve been doing it and at the same time, there’s been this rumble in our tummies, and we’ve shared it. And finally, we’re in a generation where we are stepping out and doing things and being who we desire to be outside of our homes, who we desire to be in our lives. It’s incredible to witness and then shifting that and moving into that we are we are navigating new waters, this is not something we’ve ever done before, at least not at this capacity. And so for me, we have to be really careful because we have an opportunity to grow businesses and create impact with really big hearts, lots of love and compassion. There’s so much we have to offer. But we must make sure we do it our way. And shifting that paradigm to me is about that responsibility as being willing to step into our power. That’s an uncomfortable feeling for most women. Like what do you mean be in my personal power? You know, that’s boastful. We’re used to wanting to be humble and dimming our lights. That’s what we’ve been asked to do. Now we’re being asked to shine bright lights and to have a voice and be seen. This creates a lot of discomfort. A lot of discomfort holds a lot of entrepreneurs back the FEM printers back from their their truest potential. So shifting the paradigm is this marriage to me of the masculine energy and the feminine energy, being willing to hold both. Not choosing one side or the other, but saying what could I do when I bring these two things together? Who could I be? Who could I serve? How big could my life and business become?

Nicole Laino 

I love that you bring that up. I agree with everything that you said. One question I had for you. We’re talking about that as women we juggle a lot. We’ve always struggled a lot we’ve you know, you’ve said your your you’ve been juggling mompreneur and being a mom of four for 16 years. I mean, I don’t know if there’s any more juggling than that. And but do you believe? Or has it been your experience that that the juggling has been a way of distracting ourselves from what we really wanted that mean, make yourself busy? So you don’t you’re not really conscious of the fact that you want more?

Jen Szpiegel 

That’s a great question. And what that leads me into is this idea we hold that somehow success or what we desire is going to be sacrificial. So when I had my first daughter, I just got goosebumps when I had my first daughter, Gracie. I literally I left my career at a beautiful job in marketing. I just loved my job but I left my career to be home with her. felt called to do that. And that decision was wonderful. I don’t regret those those years. Those Time’s together. But I quickly lost myself, I just became that mom, that was a little lemons, sometimes even get out of my pajamas, I lost all of my ambition, I was just such a hungry person for life, I loved accomplishing. And so for me, I literally, I mean, I remember saying to myself, I have to choose, I’m either going to be a really great mom, or I’m going to have to sacrifice being a mom to be and go after the things I desire outside of my house, I felt that. And it was really my truth. And it was when I understood entrepreneurship, and this spark happened to me where we a second, I could potentially build something from home. I mean, this was when I sound like a dinosaur. But I mean, when I started my business 16 years ago, we didn’t even have social media. It was, it’s not that it’s been around that long. But these things, open doors for us and open my eyes and my spirit to oh, I, I think I could do this. And I believe as women to answer your question, it can be a distraction. But it also can be a call for us to really witness our capacity. I think we use time and busy as a really sexy seducing excuse. Yeah, it’s really easy to use our children as an excuse, you know, I’ve got four children, and there’s so much going on. And, you know, I don’t know, I can spend as much time on my business as I want to. If I can do it, you can do it. And I’m not saying I’m better at it, what I have realized is they don’t need to clash, they don’t need to bump up against each other. What if you just took the time, you could and did the best you could in the moment with what you’re doing. Without this feeling of balance, we’ve again bought into this idea, we have to find balance. And when we’re chasing balance, we’re going to forever feel imbalanced, because there’s no such thing.

Nicole Laino 

Yeah, and what that brings up for me is, it’s the decision really, and that you decide that this is either going to be the thing that throws you off, or it’s the thing, you’re going to be bigger than, and I have found that I have actually been more productive on the days my son is home unexpectedly, or things happen, where I get, maybe not more work done, but I get great work done. There’s a level of focus that I shift my A into g in a different way. And there’s also something about his energy being around and I stopped looking at as at it as like a big hindrance. And like, this means that, you know, it’s the stories we tell, if I make the story that well he had, you know, his school closed, because that’s what schools do now is just randomly just get a note in the middle of the night and they’re like no school for the next rest of the week. And, you know, I can make that mean that I’m now that there goes my week. Or I could make it mean, okay, well, I gotta pull this together. And I’m capable of that. And I know I’m capable of that, what am I going to do what magic we’re gonna make? What’s the one thing that I’m going to make a priority. And sometimes when I have all the free time in the world, that’s harder for me to do. So I’ve actually shifted that narrative. So I love that you brought that up. But it’s, it’s not necessarily the distraction is, is that’s a choice to make an excuse out of it.

Jen Szpiegel 

Mm hmm. And you just brought up a really good point. When we have more time. We don’t really honor it the way we could. Yeah, we have full lives. We really get great at squeezing out moments. It’s like time expands. It’s incredible. Because we learn the art of rest. We learn to be where we are in the present moment. It’s it’s an incredible gift. But see, the more time we have. Sometimes we just don’t honor it. We think oh, I’ll do it later. I’ll work out later. Oh, my son’s home sick from school. You know what, I just I can’t work today. I’m just going to sit on the couch with him. Well, what if you could do multiple things at the same time and still be filled with purpose? I mean, it’s, you can be a great mom and write an email. You know, we we’ve decided that or some people have decided that if I’m distracted with my work while I’m with my children, I’m not being a good mom. I’ve raised four kids in an entrepreneurial home and I can tell you you will raise kids that are so tenacious, that look for solutions that are so positive because the conversations they witness in the home are about how do we overcome this this happen? What can we do? Hey, this person had this success today I want to celebrate they all they hear in my home is celebration, applause championing championing others. They don’t hear their parents sit around the table and talk about and gossip about people at work or how much they hate their job or the traffic. They’re hearing big, abundant conversation.

Nicole Laino 

I love that and I want to shift into I was looking for this post because I I’ve been thinking about this since my someone I’m friends with posted this a while ago, and I’ve been thinking about it and I wanted to ask I wanted to talk about it. And I feel like you’re the right person to ask this question and just sort of kick this out and onto the podcast. I’m gonna paraphrase because I cannot find her post. But basically, she said, Everyone stopped telling me and telling business owners that they need alignment. It’s it’s not about alignment. I’m so sick of hearing that. It’s about hard work. It’s about strategy. I don’t know one successful entrepreneur that did it by focusing on alignment, and not on working really hard. I’m curious what your response is to that. And I don’t know what you’re going to say we have not talked about this.

Jen Szpiegel 

So I love this is good. This is good. What I’m hearing through her is something that I can I can feel to it resonates with me a little bit, I think what she’s saying or what I’m taking from this and want to put words in her mouth. What I’m perceiving is we’ve swung the pendulum so far into feminine energetics. So this is a bit going back into like that shifting that paradigm. We are so tired of the masculine as women of fitting in and this like hustle mentality, a lot of us grew our businesses originally in the hustle culture where it’s like, Go Go, go, grind, grind, grind. I remember I mean, the first 10 years of my business, I didn’t even take a break. Even one is on vacation, I was working. So what we’ve done is we’ve realized that oh, wait, it doesn’t have to look like that. And almost like a rebellious child, we’ve swung the pendulum to this feminine energy, where a lot of people are teaching now that you know, just be in the flow. And, you know, if you feel like working work, and if you don’t just rest and there’s something to that, too. And I’m not discounting that, because it’s a beautiful way of living. But again, what if we brought into the middle? So what I’m hearing through that post is, I would actually say you do need to be aligned, because that’s integral. I think we throw the word aligned out. And we’re diluting it. But the actual alignment, if we’re not aligned, how can we really be in integrity and be authentic, another word that’s been diluted? So I wonder if that post is more about, would you please marry these two where you’re actioning, and you’re working, and you are putting some sweat equity into your business, but at the same time, kind of flipping that over? honoring yourself, nurturing yourself and not going into overwhelm and burnout?

Nicole Laino 

Yeah, I love that response. I completely agree with with all of it. And I had my thoughts on it, too. Like when I read that I was like, huh, because I do teach alignment. I teach human design. I teach lots of things that, but it’s, it’s to help you get to the answer that’s right for you. So you stop looking at the outside world and stop making choices because somebody told you that that was the way that you have an internal barometer, where you’re able to, you’re able to tune into your own guidance system, and say, Yeah, that might be right for them. But is that right for me? What’s the right thing for me and honoring our feelings and not feeling that because like you said, most of us grew up in the hustle culture, I worked on Wall Street, like there’s no more hustle culture than then Wall Street. And, you know, I worked 14 hours a day when I when I was there, it was awful. And I never want to go back to that. But when, when we’re when we’re focused on I definitely had to decondition myself of that way of being because it was like, if I wasn’t working, I felt like I wasn’t honoring my business, I wasn’t going to be successful, I put stories on top of that. And instead, I actually dimmed some of my genius, because it gave me nothing to respond to, it gave me nothing to play with life with, which is what I have to put out in my brand, which is what I have to help bring out in other people. But strategy does have to be at the foundation of what we do that that you need to know some of the how in order for you to believe that the alignment is leading, leading you somewhere.

Jen Szpiegel 

I love that perspective. And I too, don’t want to go back to that house hustle culture, I think that’s what we’re all wanting to avoid. So what if we can just constantly remind ourselves that we don’t have to choose one side or the other? It’s not like you have to choose a side you actually get to be both. And I’m hearing that through you too. And the interesting thing was strategy I teach a lot about this is I love strategy. But it really rarely works in the long term, if you’re not paying attention to who you’re being through the strategy. So what I mean by that is I I’m kind of known for building businesses that sustain and have longevity, because that’s the only thing I’m interested in. I’m not interested in working with someone and pushing them to a place they’re not prepared for and not being able to hold that success. That comeback from feeling defeat, feeling overwhelmed, is much more strenuous and takes a lot more emotion than it does to just really take your time in certain ways to make sure you’re prepared for that success. So I really believe for us, all of us that we get to have this incredible strategy. Pay attention to these things that are the how tos, but really sing into Who am I being through that launch? Who am I being in my social media? How am I leading myself? What is the energy I’m putting into this post today? Because that matters more than the algorithm.

Nicole Laino 

Mm hmm. It’s so matters more. And also, when we put all of our, our belief in the strategy, strategies change. I mean, we definitely we see that where some things work for a while, and then they’re not working so much. Because it does that. And the market is cyclical, there’s, there’s things that work, you can use them, but you do have to tweak them, you do have to be able to be versatile with them. And if you’re so rigidly believing in the system to get you there and the strategy to get there, then the strategy changes. The strategy doesn’t work a couple of times, and you’re like, Oh, my God, I’m done. Because you’ve put all of your faith in the thing, instead of in you. If you believe in you, you’re like, Well, okay, we got to go back to the drawing board. Let’s see what let’s see what we could take from what we’ve done. Let’s see what what’s what’s working. Now. Let’s move and see what feels right for us right now.

Jen Szpiegel 

Mm hmm. Amen.

Nicole Laino 

Because you take you wherever you go, the strategy will shift.

Jen Szpiegel 

100%. And don’t you notice, too, like, I can’t think I’m alone in this, that there’s so many people wanting to duplicate strategies, and it’s just like throwing work out there, hoping that it’s going to land people are going to buy my programs, I’m going to be uber successful like she is because that’s what she does. And again, it’s Who are you in that launch? Is this program your heart and soul? Are you really confident in what you can create through this program? Are you looking at people as these souls that get to come into your world versus a numbers game? I mean, people teach, it’s just a numbers game. Okay, but then you’re always chasing numbers versus being with another human being. I just think that’s such a gift. Being with you right now, meeting you today and having this connection, what a blessing in my day, in my world, in my lifetime. And we skip over these things as though we’re trying to get all the time I use the hunter mentality, like, Are you hiding behind a tree ready to get people? Or are you a fisherman who’s taking your time and casting this beautiful, I don’t even like the word bait, but like casting something out that is attractive to people and allowing them to find that bait and grasp it if they want to. And you’re just patient with the process. That doesn’t mean lazy doesn’t mean don’t do anything just means breathe.

Nicole Laino 

Well, and you will get more out of intentional business building things that are that are core, then you might have a big flash in the pan success. But that will fizzle out, it won’t hold something and you will probably shake that loose where you’re just like this didn’t feel good. I got the outcome I wanted. But it feels awful. And it will trigger something in you where you’ll mess it up. But most likely, but then I feel like there’s a lot of fear behind that a lot of people are, are fearful of what if it doesn’t work, they need the quick win. Because we’ve also on social media and in this industry, we’ve really put like the big launches, the crazy months, all of these things on such a pedestal that we’ve entered attract attention, people definitely like those people, their accounts grow, they sell more, because that’s the business that they’re in selling more based on how much they sell. And people want a piece of that. But they’re so afraid that if they don’t go with one of those one of those quick fixes, then then it will never work. Mm hmm. And I get that. But it’s it doesn’t mean that it’s right for you. It doesn’t mean that the strategy is that strategy is right for you. And a lot of times there isn’t a whole lot of strategy behind that.

Jen Szpiegel 

Yeah, there’s not and you know what i i am really in a big form of contemplation right now, I’m not a new entrepreneur. I’ve been around for a while. And I’ve watched seasons, I’ve watched the seasons of online space. I’ve watched a lot of watch a lot of evolution. And one of the things that I have a bit of a concern over and I that’s I’m in discernment, so I’m not right. I’m not saying that my opinion is right or correct. I’m just in the I’m in the sorting of this. We’ve really glamorized money and our revenue and our things, the lifestyle of success. And what I although I’m Uber inspired, there’s a part of me that just refuses to be that person and constantly throw up my revenue and how much income I’m creating. Because for me, there’s something really deep and meaningful about the one meaning when did one client All of a sudden not be enough. When did 10 people coming into your program all of a sudden create a failure feeling like When did 2000 people on your Instagram all of a sudden feel like you’re a nothing? Like, what what are we? What are we doing? And how are we discounting? All the work we’ve already done if we cannot celebrate where we are and what we’ve already accomplished, how can we possibly ask to be interested in more because it’s how the universe works is how God works. Like, you’re not happy with this, this isn’t enough. Okay? Well, I’ll wait till you feel good in this before I can entrust you with more. And we don’t realize how much we’re doing this, but it does come down to what we’re witnessing. We’re witnessing some big growth, and a lot of people being loud about it. And I don’t want to take that away from them, if that works for them. Wonderful. But I’m wondering if we can find more of a balance again, where it’s more service centered businesses versus look at me and what I’ve created businesses.

Nicole Laino 

When I what I think is kind of ironic about that is a lot of those people are the same ones who have bashed the broke culture, for being the bombastic max out, like, you know, just go Go, go, go go that feeling that they they kind of poo pooed, that whole thing and spoke about that, like, that was what we were getting away from, but we’ve sort of created it on the other side, just with a different flavor. We’ve put lingerie on it, we have we’ve booked but they’re in front of the private jet. And they’re doing they’re doing those things, and they’re just doing it in a different way. And I’m not bashing it. I just feel like that sort of were back to that question of that post of, don’t tell me I just need alignment. That that is sort of the culture that we’ve we’ve made it feel like someone’s going to tell you some magical answer that allows you to be on private jets, whereas the other where the bro culture was, I’m going to show you how to work 14 hours a day and bleed for it. And this other side is just like, I’m going to show you how to just tune into it and receive. And it’s really all of it lies somewhere in between those. Mm hmm.

Jen Szpiegel 

Yeah, I think is it coming from a pure place? Because if that is your aspiration to have a private jet and take a picture in front of it, and that’s, that’s the thing for you. Go get it. That’s amazing. I’m cheering you on. But I wonder how many times it’s actually even truth. I told this story recently on my podcast, it was a very controversial podcast, I’ve recorded it five times because I was really not sure the world was ready to hear it. And I didn’t want it to come across as me being it’s not the word, the words not negative. I guess revealing that’s a good word. Revealing the coaching industry. Because it’s not it’s I stand in the industry. I’m for the industry, I am a big part of the industry. And how you show up is impacts me how I show up impacts you because we are really also connected. But what surprised me I went to this set six and seven figure summit few years ago, many years ago. And I remember going to this cocktail reception, this young, beautiful girl walking up to me like Hi. And I was so glad she introduced herself to me because I didn’t know anybody. And I’m super shy. So to walk into a room not knowing anybody was a big stretch. So, so grateful. She came over to introduce herself. And now the first thing she said to me is like, how long have you been in business? And at that time, it was 10 years, just like 10 years, you’ve been doing the same thing for 10 years. And I remember instantly feeling like shame. Like, what? I shouldn’t be doing this for 10 years. Like you know how you started second guessing yourself? Yeah. And I’m thinking I’m at a six and seven figure Summit, like I’m pretty sure I’m doing okay. So I love her. And I said, Well, tell me your story. Like how long have you been in business? And she said four months? And I’m doing the math? I think four months holy man like what? How did? How did you do that? Like I said, How tell me like, give me this story. She’s like, well, I hit a 10k a month. And that’s all you had to do is show one month of hitting 10k to be invited into a six and seven figure Summit. So it wasn’t judgment. It really wasn’t. It’s actually really proud of our hitting a 10k a month within four months of starting a business. That’s exceptional, extraordinary. High five, what it what it revealed, for me is the exaggeration of truths. And because I’ve been around for a long time, there’s a lot of people saying I’m a seven figure brand when they’ve had one, six figure month. Well, you’re not you’re not in fact, a seven figure band, you’re well on your way. That’s a huge accomplishment. I applaud that. But if we’re exaggerating all the time, once those things actually come to fruition, it robs us of the celebration. It robs us of the moment because we can’t fully celebrate it. Because we’ve been telling people we’re already there. And that brings me even to the conversation of journey. We’re on a journey when we start comparing ourselves to other people. We’re really robbing ourselves of seeing the video It is the most spectacular part of building a business is the journey, the views, you get to see the different landscapes the person you’re becoming the expansion of yourself, it is the biggest gift if we only spent more time doing that.

Nicole Laino 

And take a slight little pivot here because I, I swear it ties because what you’re talking about your brand is called Becoming iconic. And I think that may get a fuzzy idea of what iconic really means. And we associated with massive, crazy success. And what does it mean to you?

Jen Szpiegel 

That’s I’m so glad you asked that. A lot of people ask me that. And it’s a really good story, actually. So it was channeled. That was I mean, the word iconic landed. It was in 2019. And I remember thinking iconic, might Assam iconic, you know I’ve had success, but I’m certainly not the biggest and the loudest out there. And it made me really uncomfortable to even say the word and then I realized, but what if I’m becoming that? And why do I not see myself with that lens? Why is that feels so out of reach? And what does it mean to me and then I had this really beautiful I was in California is by the beach. And I just really dug into the word and my feelings around it. And I thought, for me, it’s being the best you can be every single day, you can be an iconic Mom, if that is your calling, and your dedication, your life and what you would just your heart and soul desires. It means every day you wake up and you’re the best mum you can be and you know slightly better than you were the day before. Maybe it’s impatience or maybe it’s in playfulness or experiences, whatever it is for you. You can be iconic in business that’s not attached to $1 amount. It’s not once you hit seven figures, then you’re an iconic business owner. What if your mission your your words, we communicate your message ripples out into the entire world? Isn’t that iconic? That’s not attached to revenue? Or what if your marriage that if you want to have this exceptional partnership, that’s like something you really desire. And you you just every day wake up with the intention to make that as beautiful and vibrant and full of love as you possibly can. That’s being iconic. And that really sunk in for me, because my prayer has always been since I was a kid. God, please let me be better today than I was yesterday. And I feel like that’s the becoming of the iconic.

Nicole Laino 

I love that. Because I think what stops a lot of people from showing up. I believe that we all if you’ve been called to entrepreneurship, it’s a calling of your soul, I believe to step into its true potentiality. And, you know, most of us I know for myself, I could say that I heard it from the time I was a child was you know, there was this drive in me, not necessarily to achieve more. But to be more to like, there’s more in you. There’s more in you, there’s more in you. And the thing that holds certainly I noticed this with my clients and I have battled this myself is that feeling of? Well, I’ll be that when I get there or I haven’t achieved enough to be that. And I like that you reverse that? Where it’s like, no, you’re iconic right now. And you’re just stepping more and more into that image of yourself every day, step by step shift by shift. You’re just how can I be more iconic today? And can I show up? Not in a fake it till you make it sort of way? Not in a I’m a seven figure business owner because I had one six figure month. But in a in a I’m going to I’m going to be as bright a light as I am capable of today. And I’m going to allow myself to be seen. Yeah.

Jen Szpiegel 

Yeah, that’s it. That’s it. I mean, that is it. And you know, as you’re saying that I had another realization I am sure I knew this but I don’t know if I’ve verbalized it is we actually are born iconic. Because nobody will ever walk the journey, the life that each of us do. And see we spend so much time comparing ourselves like well, she’s more successful or she has more followers and we do so much of that. And really, we have to realize your edge your your way of standing out what differentiates you is the journey you’ve already been on and will continue to go on because you have things to teach. I cannot teach because of your experience. I have things that people come to me for because they know my experience the things I’ve walked through in life. And I think this is where we all stand up in our personal power where we really start to gain that confidence we also desire None of us desire to be in self limiting beliefs and think less of ourselves or play small, that doesn’t feel good. That’s not a well lived day. If we don’t want that, then what decisions can we make to step into our personal power and into becoming iconic? What is it? Is it moving your body today isn’t following through on the things you said you were going to do? Is it being old enough to say what’s on your heart and mind and putting it out into the world and not worrying about if it’s going to ruffle feathers? Because you know, it’s coming from a pure place? What is it today, that you can do to start showing yourself and showing you’re not you’re just yourself publicly, but to yourself, like all going, Whoa, I had no idea I could even do that. And that element of surprise, that is, that is one of the best things isn’t that the best feeling when you surprise yourself, there’s something you can do.

Nicole Laino 

Oh, it’s amazing. And what I was gonna actually add to that list of how you can show up and be iconic. Sometimes it’s listening to yourself. And if you’ve been part of that health, hustle culture, it might be laying in bed for the morning, and basking in it, and loving yourself through it. Because what I’ve found because I am someone who moves very fast, and who can do a lot and you know, and to a fault, where I’m doing so much, that it stifles the creativity. Because I’m so busy and like the energy is moving so fast, that sometimes we need to slow down. And then that’s when something truly iconic comes out, is when I give myself that pause that moment of relishing in a moment and experiencing it going for a walk, smelling the air, listening to the sounds at allowing it to penetrate.

Jen Szpiegel 

I feel that I feel that it’s it is the most incredible relationship you’ll ever have is that relationship with yourself, we often look for our soulmate, or our children, or our parents, or our best friend to give us that love that every single one of us. Every there’s no exception, every single one of us want to feel loved unconditionally. And we believe that that’s going to be a partner, a child, a parent. But what we realize, I don’t know, if it’s age, maturity, life experience, I don’t know what it is personal growth, you all of a sudden, like click in like a seatbelt and realize, oh, wait, it was always for me to love myself unconditionally. And that that relationship, and that’s your superpower. It’s not simply a strategy. You know, here’s a launch strategy for your next program. And that’s going to create you into the iconic businesswoman. It’s, you believe so deeply in yourself, and you are so in love with your potential, that everything you put out, it has this energy, it just, it’s like a magnet people go. Like they just feel it. They feel it. The easiest way to do that is to look at your social media. When was a post that you put out? Because you thought you should like oh, I should post today. And you slap something out there because you should versus one that was really on your heart an idea or a thought or something you were working through that you put out there. Look at the the engagement. Yeah, it tells you, Oh, why did that one get so much engagement? Well, who were you when you posted that?

Nicole Laino 

I have put out like big long, you know, well thought out posts. But from that place of well, I’m in a launch. So I need to be posting you know, where I’ve written a bunch of posts, you know, for a couple of weeks and promotion and things like that. And you know, you have all the different types that you want to be putting out there very well thought out lots of strategy behind it. And then I’ve put out other posts that are like one or two lines that in the moment, were things that dropped in that felt right, and threw it up on Facebook with just like the colored background to it and gotten 100 times more engagement on those than on the thing that I like spent all of this time crafting. Yes. And it’s totally about it’s you know, sometimes it’s a profound thought and, you know, produces it myself. But sometimes it’s something that, you know, I’m like, No, that was really good. But it’s like it’s where it came from. And like I posted it, and I was just like, I don’t care what anybody thinks like this is going up, because this just feels right right now. And I can pinpoint all sorts of successes throughout my career and throughout my life, where when we do something that feels this is where I think it’s alignment. This is where I think it’s this is where I think alignment comes in. When I have done something from a place of true just alignment where I was like, I don’t care what the outside world thinks of this. I like to get the result that I want. Another lesson that I need, like a repeating mantra in my head. I’m going to do this because it feels right to me. And I don’t care what anybody says. And I’ve gone out and I’ve done it, and we’ve been the most, I’ve either gotten the most outsized results, or they’ve been the most profound experiences in my life.

Jen Szpiegel 

Yeah. Yeah, every time, every time. I imagine we just realize that, and just spend a lot of time practicing that it is a practice, because a lot of us are conditioned to work. We’re like, well oiled machines, right? Those go, go, go, go go. That’s what we do. And what you’re saying, and I believe we’re saying together is what if we just really deeply trust ourselves and ask ourselves, like, the art of discernment, my word in 2021, was discernment. And I had recognized in 2020, it had really great success. And I was really proud of it. And I was really grateful for it. And it was really sitting in that. But I still knew there was a big piece of me that really wanted outward validation. You know, I was still looking for people to like and comment, I was still looking for clients to say you’re the best coach I’ve ever had, I was still counting on those things to feel fulfilled. And so I really wanted to learn and implement the art of discernment. And learning to discern, is this my truth? Or is it not? Does this feel good? Or am I doing this? Because I think I should, you know, there’s, there’s a really cool practice right there. I mean, you can implement that at any time as you need to be your word of the year, but a lot of questioning and what that gave me and it was an interesting thing, because one of the things I’ve always felt I needed to heal was the word Trust. I’ve, I’ve had my trust broken many times. And so I found myself in entrepreneurship, there was a season where I really didn’t trust people. Are you really who you say you are? You’re really telling me the truth? Or is there a ulterior motive here? So I was healing that trust. And again, it’s so interesting. This is the first time I’ve even verbalize this is like a huge aha moment for me. I believed my healing had to be the trust with people, oh, it’s gonna make me teary eyed. This is really big. For me, this is a big moment. What I learned, I didn’t even realize this is last year with the art of discernment. I healed my trust wound by learning to trust myself. Wow, that’s good.

Nicole Laino 

That was my word. Last year was trust was it. And so it and that’s what’s powerful about having that word is the word of the year is, it’s something that’s on your mind all the time, it’s reminding you to kind of come back to it. And for me, it was like it was trust in all aspects of my life. But it was really about like trusting, trusting me. And a lot of the work that I do with human design is totally about what you’re talking about about discernment is, is, you know, giving myself and my clients that guidance system to be able to discern, am I doing this because I should or may doing this because this is when we use the term in alignment? Is this is this really right for me, and that goes from trusting your head, and what you think to trusting your heart and your gut. And, you know, in human design, we talk about the authority, but it’s never in our head. It’s not in our mind, it lies in our body. Yeah. And being able to trust when you trust that then trust expands beyond that on its own, you don’t have to try.

Jen Szpiegel 

That’s the word try, was hoping you’re going to see that. You don’t have to try to trust people, you don’t have to try to impress people, you have to try to have people love you. Because it’s all there already. It’s filled, it’s full. And then you’re serving from overflow because you’re filled up everything out. It’s like this spillage of trust and love and you’re available for more and, and things kind of, I don’t know, like bounced off of you in a different way. It’s not that you avoid circumstances or lessons or hurdles or potholes. Those things happen, but they don’t penetrate the same way. When we’ve done this beautiful self actualization. Like we’ve really decided to show up for ourselves. Ah, it’s like the biggest gift and it’s interesting cuz femme per Newars. This might be like, oh, gosh, you know, I don’t Okay, fine, but just tell me how to. Yeah, and again, okay, what are we grasping for? Where’s that? What’s that energy? What are you seeking? Where’s the validation? And how can we bring it back home?

Nicole Laino 

Well, a lot of them think that they need the house and then you give them the house and they can’t do it because they’re not trusting themselves enough to do it. And that’s that’s the dance and that’s why getting the strategy is not always the answer. And that’s why you need to trust yourself first. Because your ability to operate. The strategy is way more important than the strategy itself?

Jen Szpiegel 

Yeah. Yeah. All my mentors, like, I’m a coach, my business mentors. I mean, rarely, if ever, have we spoken about business strategy, like a launch strategy. Yeah, I’m building myself with them, I am really stretching my concepts and my ideas and letting go of things that no longer serve me that are expired. And I have the answers of how to bring this out into the world in my own way with its own beautiful vibe and energy. Rarely do we talk about strategy. Now, maybe that’s because of where I’m at. But I, I wonder, again, I’m doing a lot of connecting the dots here with you today. This is a great conversation, thank you. But like, it’s interesting, because I don’t even realize I’m living that so that’s it’s a part of what I’m doing to I’m working constantly on myself and this beautiful, peaceful confidence as alongside of big, personal responsibility.

Nicole Laino 

And I think that part of the reason that this is the, you know, this is where you are, and the more money you make, the less the strategy actually means because truthfully handed off to someone else, somebody else is doing a lot of that stuff for you. You’re kind of spearheading, you know, these, the idea side of things. And it’s more about like, what ideas do you feel safe stepping into? What, Where do you feel? What’s the box you’re living in? And how do we break out of it, because that’s how you’re going to grow. So the more money you make, the more mindset becomes the focus, the more like who you are, and your way of being becomes the focus and expansion in that way. less so than the step by step approach. That’s almost like well, I can get that any, like, I’ll make anything work. Like, what will make anything work? And that’s that’s kind of an I’ve seen that my evolution where I’m like, Okay, well, I’m so not fazed by a strategy changing, I come up with a new idea or something feels like a new thing that I want to try. It’s like, okay, well, we’ll try it. So detached from it, that it’s more about where am I taking things? What is what is the impact that I can make? How can I stretch my belief of, of what I can create? And how that can happen? is almost like that’s the byproduct, more of the expansion. Yeah.

Jen Szpiegel 

Yeah, and you stop stop putting so much emphasis on those things, those graphics I mean, I love graphics, I’m I was came from a fashion world. So I love pretty things. And I love curating pretty Instagram pages. I mean, that’s just one of my creative outlets. I love it. But we don’t put as much focus on those things. When we’re paying attention to who we’re being I have worked with so many women at this point, so many who have had really big radical success, quick, sexy, fast success, because it fast a sexy I mean, I get it, it shows us what’s possible. But I can’t tell you how many women I’ve worked with at that level, where they’ve reached this peak is pivotal moment in their business and thought they could rest or thought they would find themselves they’re like, that’s going to be the feeling that’s what I want. And have been really awoken to that this is just the peak, which is the base of your next trek. It’s just you just, congratulations. But guess what’s ahead of you. And I really do feel that one of my my core beliefs in leadership is I would much rather my business and my life be chasing me than me chasing my business in life. I’d rather be so committed to my growth and who I’m being every day. So the business in life is like, Oh, wait, she’s doing this now and look at this and blessing me and filling me with miracles and magic and abundance and manifestation. Then this business that superseding me and I’m like, Ah, I don’t know how to hold this. There’s too many things this too much money. I’m, you know, spending it and not being a steward of my passion. Like, I’ve been there, I lived that so I can just own it. And I know how that feels. And if that’s who you are, it’s just like pause and work. Do the work because you can hold that and then be ready for that next trek.

Nicole Laino 

I love it literally like I could talk to you for if you want to do this again next week.

Jen Szpiegel 

Okay. And a really great interview. I’ve had many, many interviews, you really are someone who creates a great conversation. I have to thank you, Nicole.

Nicole Laino 

Thank you very much. I really love the show and thank you for being a part of it. I enjoyed this conversation thoroughly and I know that everybody else will too. So I’m very excited for for people to hear this. This is this has been wonderful. Is there anything that you want to say to the to the people listening before we wrap up?

Jen Szpiegel 

You know, I would I would like to say one thing maybe this is like a little prayer for everybody listening in that you would get out of your own way that you would recognize the capacity you hold, that you are wildly capable. And that you would actually have the guts and the will to fully live out your life. Not kind of, but actually go all in, going all in doesn’t mean hustle going all in means everything is with this great intention that you are committed to the growth of you and your life and your business, that it is a lifelong journey, versus a one year plan. And I really love communicating, I love conversation. I thank you for this opportunity to be with your community, I can only imagine how served they are through you. You are a great spirit, and full of generosity. So they’re very blessed to be in your world. And I appreciate this time.

Nicole Laino 

Thank you. I appreciate you being here. Please tell everybody where they can stay in touch with you. I know that that’s but your website? Or how can how can people find out more about you?

Jen Szpiegel 

Yeah, so while we’re recording this, and my hope is that when it comes out, we’ll be back and back on track. But while we’re recording this, my Instagram and Facebook has been disabled through a hacker, which is really unfortunate. However, it’s not going to stop me and I’ve built businesses without social media. I’ll do it again. So what I feel like I’d love to say is come over to the becoming iconic podcast, I do weekly master classes over there. So we’re used to master classes where we sign up and go to a Facebook group. I’m just holding them there. So it’s really deep dives into beautiful subjects. I’d love for people to come hang out there if that’s what they feel called to. Or you can go to Jen Spiegel calm. And that will be in the show notes. Because that’s a whole mouthful. And of course, you can always email me as well, you can email concierge at becoming iconic CO and I hang out there. So if you want to email or reach out, that’s an a way to find me.

Nicole Laino 

Yes, and we are going to every all of the the current working links and profiles will be linked up in the show notes when this airs. So we’re gonna check back with Jen’s team and make sure that we have everything so we’re holding space for all of that to be just reactivated like nothing ever happened. And we can just link up to those otherwise we’ll we’ll give up whatever is the freshest and most up to date information. Thank you for being here. This was such a fabulous, fabulous conversation. This went longer than I normally do. But it was such an incredible conversation. I was like, let’s just keep going because this is great. And thank you if you made it all the way to the end of this episode. I thank you for being here. Thank you for being here and being part of this conversation with us. We appreciate you. And remember You are only limited by the limitations that you accept. And when you stop accepting those limitations. That is when you become limitless. So go out there and be limitless everyone. We will see you in the next episode.