Nicole Laino
Hello, and welcome to the limitless entrepreneur podcast everyone. I’m your host, Nicole Laino. And I am here with a guest today, I’m super excited. We have been talking about having her on the show for months now. And it’s my fault. It’s my schedule that has pushed this out till now. But I’m here with Lindsey White. Lindsey is a friend of mine. She is a sought after leadership coach, she is a People Operations expert. She’s a mom, she’s a podcaster, she has so much going on, I’m gonna let her introduce herself. But part of the reason why I wanted to bring her on was she had kind of we did a human design reading together. And she’s a remarkable human. And one of the things that I love about human design readings is that I can show you just how darn remarkable you are. And it can shine some light on simple shifts that you can make to have really big impact. We don’t have to, sometimes there’s this conditioning of feeling like we have to change so much about us or the way we’re doing things. And it can be as simple as waiting or listening differently or just approaching something a little differently. And she embraced this and embodied it so much that I was like, Can you come on the show? And can we talk about this? And we can we talk about what you do and all the wonderful things that you that you do. So I’m really excited to have her here. She is a three five splenic projector. And we are going to be talking all about her human design and all about her journey. Lindsay, welcome to the show.

Lindsay White
Thank you. I’m super pumped to be here.

Nicole Laino
I’m so happy to have you here. Tell everybody you introduce yourself. I prefer to have the guests do that you do a better than I do. Tell them a little bit about you what you do, and all the things.

Lindsay White
Yes, I’m a super passionate leadership coach, I work with female entrepreneurs and small business owners to really help them embrace their authentic leadership style and be a really high quality leader in their business, but also in their life, create that work life blend that we all want to have. I’ve an extensive HR and talent management background. So I also will work with those incredible ladies to build beautiful workplace cultures, and all the programs and processes that support their people in their performance. Because when our team is happy, they make our customers happy. And when our customers happy, they bring us more money and more customers. And ultimately, our businesses really thrive at that point. As you can tell, I’m super passionate about doing that work. On like you said, I’m a mom of four. I’m a grandma a glamour, let’s be clear. Grandmother. I am a grandmother. I’m a grandma of two sweet little baby boys. I am a pet parent. I’m a sister and Auntie all sorts of different things. I you know, like most of us, I play about a dozen different roles. Oh, and I’m a wife. I have a really great husband who’s loving and supportive. That guy,

Nicole Laino
We forget about them. We’re like, I’m a mom, I’m a grandma I have for babies. And it’s like, Oh, right. But I have one of those men that that supports me and loves me and lives with me, you know, and we’ve been together for like, the majority of my life. Yes.

Lindsay White
That guy? Yeah.

Nicole Laino
I love it. I love it. Can you talk a little bit about if you remember, because we did not talk about this before the show. We haven’t prepared this the show is not prepared. I have preparation that I do. But we don’t talk about what we’re going to talk about on the show necessarily before we get on. But do you remember where you were before we did our reading? There was some stuff that was moving around in your business? And can you speak to that a little bit?

Lindsay White
Yeah, I am. I can remember i i I was frustrated. I think that’s the biggest word, you know that that sort of is central to how I was feeling. I I’m really passionate about what I do. I really love doing it. And I know that it’s really something that’s deeply needed, and really impactful. And I was really struggling to connect what I do and why it’s important with who I want to work with, and and how it can change and impact their life and their business. And so I was just in this place of really deep frustration and some anxiety because I’d had done some launches, created some, you know, programs that just didn’t get off the ground the way that I wanted to. And I was, you know, struggling to figure out what isn’t working like I met. I know I’m missing something, but I don’t know what I’m missing was kind of what kept coming up for me. And so the idea of doing the Human Design reading, I thought, you know, maybe this will give me some direction. This would tune me into something that I’m again, I know I’m missing something, but I just can’t. I can’t seem to figure out what that is. And so, and I’m just so driven, that I was kind of beating my head against the brick wall a little bit.

Nicole Laino
Yeah, and what I what I remember from that, too, I remember feeling and I think we talked about this in the reading was I went back to the recording of our reading and kind of just just skimmed it, listen to parts of it, there was this feeling of chasing people chasing the client’s chasing, like, kind of trying to get the, the visibility and that converting and moving people over into it was a fair amount of like convincing. It felt like,

Lindsay White
yeah, and which was deeply uncomfortable for me. It really was.

Nicole Laino
And what we worked on, and what we discussed in there was, you know, projectors, you’re here to be recognized. You’re You’re here to be recognized. And it’s an it’s deeply frustrating and can turn to what what we refer to as bitterness, the not self theme of projectors, is this this theme of bitterness, bitterness, when we aren’t being recognized when projectors aren’t recognized. It’s just like, why is it no one can see, why is it that I’m doing all of these things? And nobody’s seeing me? Nobody’s recognizing me. Nobody’s seeing how I can help. Nobody’s valuing my work. Nobody’s valuing what I know. And I know a lot.

Lindsay White
Yeah. Yeah, totally.

Nicole Laino
And what changed after our reading, I know I got a voice memo from you. And that was kind of what spurred this. I was like, we come on the show and talk about this. So can you talk a little bit about what what did you implement or what clicked into place after the reading for you.

Lindsay White
So I think one of the most impactful things and I have it written down, I was shown a call before we hit record, I have my like, personalized printout highlighted and underlined, I’ve read it about 18 times. And it was a phrase that you said during the reading, that was so I think impactful for me and really allowed me to do that. So you know, that surrendering piece and you said to me, you know, this is this is what you need to do and repeat. Like I’m willing to surrender, I’m willing to see things differently. And, you know, I’m ready to be guided, send me the invitations that are right for me. And I think it was that word, invitations. That really resonated. It’s what I was really missing was that I needed to be invited. And it actually what it made me think of was being a kid on the playground. And I grew up in a place where I was the odd man out. And I remember standing on the edge of the playground waiting to be invited, invited to play tag invited to go on the monkey bars invited to participate. And I think that’s exactly how I felt is you’re right, I was sort of chasing because I so deeply want to help. And I know I can see what to do and how to fix it really, usually pretty easily. And standing on the sidelines, sort of with that, you know, asked me asked me asked me energy is really difficult. Right? But so that word invitations was that it just really hit the nail on the head for me.

Nicole Laino
Well, and I loved that, like just hearing you say it definitely the way that you took action after this and how you shifted is a big part of it. But but just hearing you say that, you know what made me feel so good about the you know, the results in sort of the the direction that this took you in was so many projectors here, wait for the invitation. And they’re like, Ah, I have to be invited. Are you kidding me? I’m just going to sit here and wait for people to recognize me. And you didn’t see it that way. You seem to embrace it and hearing you say it right now it was like it was almost like this permission to be invited and to to not chase. And I can spend a while trying to get projectors to get to that point and you just kind of like slapped into it where you were like, No, I like, Oh, I get to be invited. Yeah, it makes so much sense. I’m going to stop running, because it’s not a good use of your energy because for you listening if you’re a projector if you have projectors in your life, particularly if you have projector kids. I have a projector son, I have a splenic projector sensor. He’s got a similar design to you. He’s got the same strategy and authority. And he’s five years old. He’ll be five years old on Sunday. And my little man, and I know exactly what you’re talking about, about that. That playground about waiting to be invited that you literally feel like there’s an invisible wall like I can’t enter yet. And I would see it going into his preschool classrooms. And I would see him stand at the doorway, like a vampire. Like I can’t go in until I’m invited. I can’t go in until someone asked me there’ll be people like we giving to him and saying hello. But if it wasn’t the formal invitation, he hesitated, and he didn’t feel comfortable. So I make it a point that with all of his teachers now the first thing that I tell them like I meet them at like back to school night or something, I tell them I’d be like, he does really well, if you formally invite him to things. Yeah, so and if he’s really seeming shy and hesitant, hold out your hand, and ask him to come with you, wherever it is that you’re going, he will go. It’s it’s a matter of him having that hesitation. And that’s, that’s such a projector thing. That because you have such great wisdom, and because your aura is so focused on people, it can be uncomfortable for people who have not invited it. So when when a projector comes with their wisdom, you see what others can, yeah, you see it so clearly. And then you also you have the channel of the alpha, which is the 731. Going to from the identity center to the throat, that channel is very much about leadership influence. But it’s also kind of about being like the leadership behind the leadership. Like you’re like the general behind the president advising and kind of which is so in line with what you do with with your work that you do you help with or you help organizations from the inside be successful?

Lindsay White
Yes.

Nicole Laino
And going like really rooting into your internal environment, as a business owner, is we focus so much on putting out on what can we do to get the clients what can we do to get the customers? What can we do to like, be more visible out in the world that we forget the internal systems and the internal culture that we have? Yeah. And that’s, that’s an argument that is strong, but probably not easily heard by people. They have their own ideas, they have their own thing. So it’s kind of up to you to either. And for projectors, it’s like, you can be on social media and putting information out there. Like you don’t have to be invited to do that. The way you’re invited to do that, as people follow you, you’ve great, you’ve been invited. Wonderful. Like, don’t feel like I can’t make a post until I’ve been invited. No one’s gonna be like you haven’t posted today. Yeah.

Lindsay White
No, but you know, what’s made the difference is when I’ve worked with social media experts that asked me questions. What do you think about this? Tell me your thoughts on that. Where are you? What, what, how do you do this? That’s so I can talk all day. Right? Coming up with the stuff all by myself is way harder. I have an invitation from someone to articulate it, to talk about it to work together on it. Yep, I’m way more effective. And I come up with way better stuff. Exactly. Well,

Nicole Laino
so what they’ve done with that is they’ve said, Lindsay, I recognize you as an expert. I recognize you as having something to offer here. Would you please give us your wisdom? Would you please share your thoughts? Would you please tell us what you think? Now that focused aura you’re going to give them so the way that it works energetically is kind of you can feel into things beyond what’s on the page said in the meeting, like that’s the projector gift. And anyone that has projection that that’s kind of the gift. So, so you are seeing deeply into something beneath the surface beneath what others can see. And by them inviting you. Now they’ve said I’m receptive for you going that deep. I’m receptive for you. Because I like to say, this is sort of a crude analogy, but people remember it, so I use it. But projected energy is penetrating energy. And not everybody wants to be penetrated, certainly not without consent. So you need to be asked, you need to be invited to penetrate someone’s aura to penetrate their their organization. Yeah. And once you do once you have that invite, then all of a sudden, your raised up because they see your value. 100% Yeah, when we try to do it, and we try to force our way in the whole time. They’re just like, who asked you? There’s that like, resistance in them? They’re just they’re like, I don’t know why they’re not listening with their whole being. Yeah. So it’s not penetrating. It’s not getting through and you’re like, I don’t understand why you don’t see how brilliant I am. And then I’m solving your problems right now. Like you’re not hearing me. Yeah. And that leads to bitterness. Typically, for a projector, which you are very positive person, so you might not feel terribly bitter, but there’s like a fair amount of disappointment I think of just like why Isn’t anyone seeing me? It’s like, I’m not recognized. Yeah. And I just, I want to help you, why won’t you let me help you.

Lindsay White
Yes. And I think, yeah, no, I think disappointment is probably the right word, disappointment and frustration. Because you’re right, I really, I really can see, I really can see the solutions or the or the options, I really can see where there’s value to be added. And it is, it’s disappointing and frustrating. When you aren’t invited to offer the help, you know, that you can deliver.

Nicole Laino
Yep. Yeah. Yeah. And the other thing that I want to make clear to is, when you said, you know, I’m being asked now I’m, you know, I’m, I’m being invited, know, that it acts, what human design does, why the invitation because you’d say, like, I, I can’t just come up with it on my own. If they’re asking me a question, then it comes out. If I’m just like, I have to write something right now. Or I have to, you know, give us your why’s this thing? And it’s like, I don’t know what to say here. I don’t know what to do.

Lindsay White
It’s a whole a lot harder. That’s for sure.

Nicole Laino
Absolutely. And I mean, and there’s a reason for that, because our energy is activated through our strategy. So for projectors, when someone invites you, now, it’s it, it’s activated, that part of you, it’s initiated you it has brought something alive in you were exactly what is needed is given for generators, like me generators and manifesting generators. It’s a response, when we’re in response, we’re activated, we’re initiated now all have that energy, and all of that potential is able to be realized. It can’t be. That’s why we sit there. And I mean, generators, we talk about it all the time. Like you sit there and you stare at a blank page when you go to write something. And it’s like, I have all these ideas all the time. Why are they on here right now when I need them. It’s like because you’re not in response to anything, you’re just you’re initiating, you haven’t been initiated. manifester is the ultimate initiator. So if a manifester asks you for something, or to be part of their organization, and like that’s the ultimate initiation, because they are the initiators of like, the collective, right, they don’t have that same issue. Their their issue is more about they’re activated and initiated themselves, by the big idea by the thing that it’s like, this is the next thing for me to do. And that can be anything from like painting the garage, to starting, like a life changing agricultural, you know, yeah, let’s change the way we farm and the way that we grow. Like, it could be that big, or it could be like, I’m going to tear this garage apart today. Like that could be the the divine thing, the divine spark.

Lindsay White
Interesting.

Nicole Laino
So we’re all activated in a particular way where we all have our way. And the strategy is what tells us how to do that. That’s why when you’re invited, things just feel easier.

Lindsay White
Yeah. Yeah, they do.

Nicole Laino
They release easier for you to give and people receive it. Yeah. So let’s talk a little bit about some of the invitations that you’ve gotten, like you said something when we hopped on the call that you’ve you’ve kind of been, you know, you had some things happen, and you don’t have to go into any of those details. But But where you were, you’re you were shifting your focus kind of where you were like, I’m, I’m gonna, I’ll let you I’ll let you tell it as much as you want.

Lindsay White
Yeah. Yeah. So I mean, there were several months in the summer here, where I had some, I had some pretty significant personal things happen. I’ll leave it at that. Yep. And, and it, what it made me do was recognize that what that what I was doing wasn’t working, I was really spinning my wheels, again, frustrated, disappointed, and starting, you know, really being self aware that I was starting to reach that burnout place. And that I was doing things that were not fulfilling for me, despite the fact that I was working on projects with, you know, really cool outcomes, really crew programs that I was involved in designing, I just was not getting a you know, the joy that I wanted out of it. And so I reached a point this summer where I thought I just I’ve got to stop doing some of these things that are just not working. They’re not leaving me feeling awesome at the end of the day. And as hard as that is for me, because I’m a I’m a people pleaser. It’s difficult for me to deliver hard information. I really just had to go back to some of the people I was working with and say, These things aren’t serving me and I’m going to have to press stop on them. Um, for now and potentially forever, like I kind of left it indeterminate at the time. Yeah. And I’ve since recognized that, yep, walking away was the right decision. And, and so I did, I really hit pause on a couple big things in my world, gave myself a little space. You know, first and foremost, there were some big emotions that I was dealing with. And I had to stop and just really be present with what I was feeling, and really be present with that sort of level of burnout and exhaustion. And what ended up happening in the course of that pause was I was presented with some really cool opportunities, one of which I decided to accept. So I was actually offered a part time organizational development role with a really beautiful charity in my city. And it is a charity that has served this community for 100 years and has an impeccable reputation. And they were really looking to do some incredible strategic work on their people and culture around their values, performance, leadership, development, all of the pieces that just light me up. And there was another opportunity at the same time. And I had to make a decision. And actually, I know that I made the right decision. And so I stepped into this part time role with this beautiful nonprofit. And from that, even more opportunities have come to do more consulting work to work with new coaching clients. And it’s it’s been a slow and steady progress in terms of invitations happening, sort of every week. Interesting ones. Here, you know, that just piqued my curiosity that matched my skill set and my talents and my deep again, my deep desire to serve leaders and their teams.

Nicole Laino
That’s beautiful. And I mean, like, one invitation led to many. And that’s, and that’s what we want people to trust in that if if your strategy is to be invited, trust that you will be invited. But you’re not going to be invited when you’re spending all of your energy and using it poorly trying to chase people down and be seen. Yeah, that’s not how your aura is people feel that. Like, yeah, people feel a projector aura, it’s, it’s strong, it is focused. And if it’s in desperate energy of an of, and we use the term bitterness, because it’s that, like, Why isn’t anyone seeing me? Why isn’t anyone seeing me? Like, that’s the that’s the vibe. That’s when people feel? Yeah, that’s what we put out. When you stop putting that out. And for you, it was so much like, you know, that that line that you wrote down, which is just like, where I, you know, I do it myself, I just say, you know, give me things to respond to, like I surrender to this process. I’m gonna see myself for all that I am going to recognize myself. And God universe, whoever’s up there listening.

Lindsay White
Yeah.

Nicole Laino
Give me the right things to respond to. I’m not going to get in the way. Because that’s what we do we muck it up by getting in the way.

Lindsay White
Totally. And I think I was totally doing that. I was trying so hard

Nicole Laino
You’re in good company.

Lindsay White
right? In the right place, I think from the right place. But you’re right, I was totally getting in my own way. And just this idea of send me the right invitations, send somebody the right request. Give me the right opportunities. Right. Put me in coach. Yep. Right. That’s fine.

Nicole Laino
And you know, and that energy is, is fine. It was just, it was just, that’s that’s what I mean by like a simple shift, where it’s like, I can just put all that focus that I’m saying, like, why aren’t you recognizing me to just being like, I am so good at what I do. And I love what I do. And I’m gonna put all of my focus into loving what I do. And I’m, and I’m going to dabble in trust. And I’m going to see how this goes. And there was so much of your design to that I thought was was so beautiful, given what you do. The fact that like, you have the channel of judgment, the the 58, a team that goes from the root to the spleen, which is the channel judgment, all of these names sound terrible, by the way, don’t pay attention to them. Most of them there are a couple of them, like the channel of charisma sounds really great. But like most of them are sound awful like the channel of struggle. It’s like oh my god, I have to struggle. Now. Judgment really means that you have just a discerning eye and you quickly see the things that are wrong. And that you have the will and the vision to see how they can be made better. Yeah, in the low frequency that Turn into perfectionism. In the higher frequency, it’s, I just always see that there’s a better way. And there’s this like moving everyone forward. It’s a collective energy, which is like, I see the better way for all of you, which for you like with organizations, it’s like, I see the vision of how these are the things that are broken. Here’s how we make it better for everybody that you work with, here’s how we make it better for everybody in your organization, here’s how we make it better for your clients. Here’s how this just becomes better for everyone. And that’s like channel of judgment the whole way, like in the highest frequency. So it was just like, trust in those energies that they’re there and they’re enough. And that the right, the right invitations will come to you. Actually, when you back off, actually, when you stop running with your hand up in the air being like I can help I can help. Which, which I think so many of us, so many of us do. I’m a five one. So I have projection in my ear. I’m like, see me see me. And it’s like nobody can and they never will. Like it’s not about you. We all have something that that it when we surrender to the design. stuff takes care of itself.

Lindsay White
Hmm. Yeah. I think that’s proven to be true for me. Yeah, I think the universe gave me a couple of things that I that I had to deal with, so that I had to stop. Again, I said this, before we hit record, I always believe the universe gives you what you need, not what you want. Sorry. Right. Sorry. But it did give me some things that I needed in order to recognize I have to stop. Yeah, like, I can’t do this anymore. And then I was ready for the invitations. Does that make sense?

Nicole Laino
Of course. Of course. Well, and, and that’s getting out of the way. It’s getting out of particularly. So if we’re tying this back to human design, you know, you have on the right side of your chart, you have the personality, that’s who you think you are. That’s all the things that you think are important. That’s all the ways that you think it should be done and that you should operate. And then on the left side, we have the red side, which is depending on what what chart tool you’re looking at, but if you’re looking on the left side, we have the design side. That’s our karmic stuff. Those are the tunnels to the to the personalities, roads, they’re the things that are happening under the surface. So where we have the design side that that unconscious energy, where we have that going on, a lot of times the personality side is overriding that it’s overriding the other energy because it’s saying, no, no, it has to be this way. We have to do it this way. No, no, we have to lead like this. And the other side is going no, but I swear it’s going to be better if you do it this way. That’s what strategy and authority does strategy and authority brings both of these together. That’s why it’s important that we follow it rather than just doing what we cognitively believe is correct. Right. Right. So I’m curious, when you said you had to make a decision between which invitation to accept how did you make that decision? I don’t know the answer to that. So I’m curious what, how you how you came to the one that you the one that you went with?

Lindsay White
Yeah, I think, you know, that’s an interesting question, because it was quite a dilemma. You know, one, one, this opportunity that I took with the nonprofit that was actually a part time opportunity, and one was a full time opportunity to be a full time coach, which ultimately, for coaches, that’s the dream, right? I get to coach, I don’t have to worry about anything I get paid. It’s amazing. And it, it was a real debate in my head. And what what I had to do was actually get really quiet and really still and really focus inward on you know, what my intuition what my sort of my inner leader was telling me. And when I did that, the choice was quite clear that I wasn’t ready to quit my own business and go back to a full time corporate job. That that really wasn’t what I wanted to do. What I wanted to do was add value in a way that is meaningful to me and still be able to work in my own practice. And beautiful, right, and that there was a blend possible there for me. And it just as soon as I sort of recognize that the choice was 100% clear, and, you know, irrevocable at that point, like I just knew,

Nicole Laino
yeah, so I love this answer, and I’m going to kind of like back into it. How you were kind of using your authority without knowing you were using your authority probably, that, that instinct of like, I have to go get quiet and go inward. And I have to listen to and tap into my intuition. You are a splenic projector, your spleen is your intuition. It is the soft voice that you need to get quiet to hear, typically until you build like a really strong relationship to it, and then it doesn’t shut up, then it’s just like, do this do that. But this is your authority. So you’re meant to know in the moment, you’re meant to just have that knowing it’s just, I know, this is right. I don’t need to make sense of it. It’s telling you that this is the safe way for you to go meaning it’s safe and right and good for you. Yeah. And so I love that you, you kind of played with that strategy with that, your way of connecting to that authority without necessarily knowing you were doing it that way. Yeah,

Lindsay White
no, you know, I think it’s one thing that I’ve learned in my 46 years on this planet, is that voice is has always been there. Of course, it’s when I it’s when I ignore it. It’s when I ignore it. That shit go sideways. Sorry, I totally swear. But like it, it goes. Like any decision that I have made that has been the opposite of that does not end well, including my first failed marriage decisions about right like, I could add them up. You want to insist? sickly Oh, or alphabetically, right? Yep. Yeah. And that’s, and that’s the power of

Nicole Laino
kind of like, retroactively sort of like going through your life and being like, let’s go through the decisions I’ve made on how I’ve made them. And, and I mean, I do this with I’m an emotional authority, and there’s waiting involved. So it’s different than yours. I don’t just like sit, listen and go. I know, there’s like this, like, Okay, I have to like, I have to allow this. Everything is cooked in a slow cooker. When you’re an emotional authority. It’s like, you know, plug it in, drop it in the pot, cover it go to work, go to sleep, the next day, check on it, and you’re like, Nope, it still needs some time. And then like, you go and you have like a barbecue with your friends. You can do all these things. And you come back three days later, and you’re like, it’s perfect. That’s like emotional authority. I just made up that weird analogy there. But it feels very true. There’s this like serious marinating times, like making kimchi with your decisions. And, and so like, I don’t have that instant knowing. But when I think about all the decisions I made, where I didn’t wait, yeah, and I didn’t honor that. Go to shit quickly. And and epically? Yes. And yes. Like where you’re like, Oh, my God. Firing decision. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. And, and then when I have waited when I have been patient, I mean, more aligned, and beautiful. And even the nose where I landed on like, No, I’m not going to do it. Because we think about the yeses. We think about like, where did I say yes. And then it went, right. Where did I say? No. And it went right? Where did I say no. And that left room for a big old fat? Yes. Right after it. Because that’s what happens when we say no, because the noes are just important as just as important as the yeses.

Lindsay White
No, I think you’re right. You’re we we do we focus on the yeses, but the nose and certainly, again, going with some nose in this past summer was exactly what enabled some really great yeses for me and continues because I wouldn’t have the space yet if I hadn’t said no. And I would have ended up miserable is the truth.

Nicole Laino
Yeah, and that’s, that’s honestly what what strategy and authority it’s not trying to make us rich necessarily. Like that’s, you know, it’s it’s about keeping us happy. It’s about keeping us using our energy. Well, the thing that we don’t realize, though, is that the byproduct is typically money, it is typically fulfillment. Because it’s, it’s where people want to be around us more when we’re fulfilled when we’re in a good place. When we’re doing what we’re meant to do. That’s when the perfect aligned things come your way. You stop working so hard to make it all happen. You can do more that makes you money when you’re in that energy, and life just gets better. When I started following my strategy and authority, I reduced the amount that I worked and marketed and all of that drastically. And I made more money happier. And now it’s like now it’s like okay, well, how do I maximize that and I you know, there’s bigger decisions being made, but every single thing goes through strategy and authority. Because I know what happens when I don’t and I prefer the results for when I do

Lindsay White
Strongly prefer.

Nicole Laino
but I wanted to the one other thing I wanted to mention, you mentioned, you know, you labeled yourself as a people pleaser a couple of times in this interview, and I wanted to bring up you know, you have an open solar plexus. So you have not completely open, you do have gate six, but you have a, you have a an undefined emotional center. And that can be a center, there’s a few places where people pleasing can come into into play in the chart. But that one in particular is about avoiding confrontation is about like, I’m just going to stay here and stick with the status quo rather than changing it because I don’t want to ruffle any feathers. I don’t want to confront anybody. I don’t want to hurt anybody. I don’t want to make anyone mad. I would rather be miserable myself, then deal with what confrontation could mean for me and others. So that was just something that since that came up, just kind of like with you on here and anyone listening with with an open solar plexus or an undefined solar plexus. That doesn’t serve you. And I think you saw how it wasn’t serving you. You were staying in that position. And while it was cool, you were like, I know it’s not right. But I don’t want to I don’t want to tell these I don’t want let anyone down. What if they’re mad? What is that? You know, like, any of those thoughts that could have gone through your head at that time? Yeah. It wasn’t serving you and it wasn’t serving them to avoid it. No, no, it’s true.

Lindsay White
It For Me, it goes right back to being on the playground again. Right? If I say no, or if I tell them something that they don’t want to hear, they won’t want to play with me anymore. Right. So and now I think, again, 46 years on the planet, I do believe that I’ve gotten better at at being able to disappoint others in a way that it serves me right and not sacrifice myself on the altar of making others happy. It’s not that I don’t get caught in that trap at moments in time. Right. Like, don’t get me wrong, I still end up in places and situations and think how the hell did I get here? Again, never should have said yes. But I think I’ve gotten better at that it but it does. It’s not always easy for me. Because my first thought is somebody else is going to be hurt or disappointed or unhappy. And that I have to reconcile that.

Nicole Laino
And, and I deeply feel that. And I think I don’t think there’s anybody listening to this. That’s like, never felt that before. Unless you’re a very callous person, if you like I’ve never cared about anyone’s feelings. Well, and just that that feeling of being left out, like, like, I may never be invited again. Yeah, totally. If I turn this invitation down, if I turn this down, if I disappoint somebody, then I’m then there goes my chances for the future. And that’s why I think

Lindsay White
They’ll never play with me again. Right, right, right. There was my chance that we’re gonna die alone.

Nicole Laino
Yeah. But like, and I mean, I see that with women with dating and things like that, you know, like, I’m gonna stay in this relationship. Because what if not, what if there’s nothing else on the horizon? And it’s, it’s, it’s a really, it’s a, it’s a really sad thing. I don’t want to hurt anybody. I don’t want to, you know, I know the implications of this. And there’s a difference between and there’s a line between being, you know, there’s ways to be considerate and still not give your life away and honor person for that. Right. But the reason I wanted to bring it up is that what human design teaches us is that, you know, that those those tendencies of the white space, the not self of those centers, which are the solar plexus, the not self is people pleasing, and avoiding confrontation at all costs. Yeah, I won’t do this because I might, I might get somebody I won’t stand up for myself, I won’t speak my truth. Because I don’t want to hurt anybody. I don’t want to I don’t want anyone to get mad at me. And all the things like there’s so many other questions and arguments around that. But that’s the not self of that. And when human design teaches us is that our not self, us being in the not self serves nobody. Us being in the not self there is there’s a voice that’s wrong, that lives inside of you that’s driving you telling you don’t do this or do this, because of a not self behavior. It is. It’s it’s driving you to the wrong place.

Lindsay White
Yeah.

Nicole Laino
And if we recognize that, and that’s why it’s impactful to know the voices of your white space, to know what it sounds like and how we decondition that where it’s like, I can still be a considerate person and stand up for myself. I can still speak my truth in a way that respects others. I can still like an I stand in that. And I wanted to bring that up for anybody who’s listening here and understanding like how we use the chart to guide us in making decisions and recognizing that that, you know, as as a projector with your open with your open sacral center, your undefined sacral center, you working more is serving nobody. Yeah, it’s depleting your potency as a projector, and your potency and wisdom as a projector, in all the areas you’re defined is needed for the right people. So you pushing through that sacral center to be more places and to work more and to keep up and to be driving from that place, rather than resting yourself is actually not serving you or anybody else, that’s a not self voice telling you that that’s the right way for you if that’s coming through. So I wanted to bring that up. Because it’s, it’s it’s an integral part of how we use the centers, because it’s better for you to be like, well, I get to work with my root Center, which is defined. And that works in pulses. And when I get the pulse to work, when I feel like this creative burst, to make something better, or to to correct something or to share my wisdom about the about something I see that’s not going correctly, I have that energy. And I know that that energy will is there, and I can use it when I need to. And then I rest. And then I chill out. And I rest my sacral center, and I wait for the next aligned invitation for me.

Lindsay White
Yes. And I’ve really been paying since we did the reading, I’ve really been paying attention to that. Because I think I was a bit of a victim too. I have to work longer and harder and smarter and scheduled and all of these things. And it was I think it was really exhausting. And just paying attention to when I really can dig into the work. And when I just need to step away from it actually has been really important. And I have also been able to step away from that. I’m going to say guilt. Because you especially when you own your own business, you feel guilt, I should be working you have that stupid should word in your head, right? Yeah. And it’s really enabled me to say, No, I shouldn’t be working right now. I don’t feel like it. It’s not flowing. I’m just gonna, I’m just gonna close my laptop. And I’m gonna walk away for half an hour and see, see what happens. See what happens.

Nicole Laino
And better things happen, the more that you do that in your power and not in an not in an energy of lack or not in an energy of like, well, I’m a bad person or I’m no good. If I take a rest like night, when I take care of myself. I always say like my husband is most aligned projector have ever seen. And he like he takes the time that he needs. And he sees himself for how awesome he is. And he’s like, I’m better. I know I provide better for everybody around me. When I’m rested when I’m having fun. When I’m like enjoying life. He exudes this amazing energy. And he’s deeply wise about his his expertise. Yeah. If he’s depleted, He’s bitter. He’s not happy. And he’s not delivering on the same level. So everybody suffers. So it’s, it does work. It’s about trusting the counter intuitive advice that sometimes human design can be giving us?

Lindsay White
Yeah, you do you have there’s a big element of trust. Absolutely. No doubt.

Nicole Laino
Life is a trust fall. Like, you know, it’s it’s a series of them. And it’s just a matter of like, at what I love about human design, what’s been so powerful for me and the people I work with is it shows you what your trust formula is. So your trust formula is getting quiet. Your trust formula is tuning into your intuition, tuning into that deeper knowing that you have inside of yourself. And when it speaks, move. When it speaks, don’t question it, don’t shift up into your head and start to be like, well, I got this intuitive hit. But now let me try to make a pros and cons list about what to do. And that’s not going to lead you to where you want to go. That’s the mind taking over. And you don’t have definition in your mind, just like I don’t. So we really aren’t meant to spend time up there. It’s meant to be a playground for us to like kick around ideas and then shift into our defined areas. But that’s so like, that’s the formula for you. It’s like rest, have fun, deep inner knowing is going to tell you what invitations are correct for you recognize yourself, see yourself really ground into who you are and how awesome you are, what you do and the type of clients you desire to work with. And trust that those invitations will come and get out of the way by enjoying yourself by FaceTiming with your grandbabies. You know, like doing things that light you up because you’re magnetic when you do.

Lindsay White
Thank you. Yeah. Yeah, that really resonates.

Nicole Laino
Well. I love you and I love this conversation. I appreciate you being here and sharing with us and allowing me to like dive into your chart on here and kind of do this sort of sort of interesting interview non interview. But why don’t you tell everybody where they can stay in touch with you? Where if they’re looking for if, if they’re if they value their internal culture and see the value in building internally in order to have external growth? Where can they stay in touch with you and learn more about you?

Lindsay White
Yeah, absolutely. So my website is highvoltageleadership.ca. So there’s a ton of information about what I do there. I’m on Instagram @highvoltleadership. And you can find me on Facebook as well, high voltage leadership. And I love to share about leadership, culture, team performance, all of those important things that we want to grow in our organizations.

Nicole Laino
Yeah, cuz you’re only as good as the people around you. It’s, it’s true that you can’t do it alone. You can do so much on your own. But if you’ve gotten to that point where you’re like, I’m at capacity, and that it’s the team that will make everything that you’re dreaming feel possible.

Lindsay White
100% Well said,

Nicole Laino
yep. Yeah, well, I appreciate you. And we will link all of that up in the show notes. If you want to stay in touch with Lindsey, which I highly recommend that you do. She is just a light in this world. And she’s amazing at what she does. So please, hop on over to the show notes will magically transport you to all of her sites and social medias and all the things there. We have it. We have you covered there. And we appreciate you being here, Lindsay, I just I adore you. And I’m so happy that we got to finally do this. Yeah, thank you so much for having me. Thank you, and thank you listener for making it all the way to the end of this episode with us and being part of this conversation. We appreciate you. Now remember, you are only limited by the limitations that you accept. And when you stop accepting those limitations. That is when you become limitless to go out there and be limitless, my people. I will see you in the next episode.