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Episode #40 How Your Relationships Impact Your Business with Dr. Joli Hamilton

This week’s podcast features Dr. Joli Hamilton, a research psychologist, best-selling author, an AASECT certified sex educator, TEDx speaker, and a sex & relationship coach.

Over the past two decades, she has started a dozen business ventures ranging from clothing design to personal training to providing birth & lactation doula services, all while managing her own relationships, pursuing her graduate degrees, and raising and homeschooling seven kids.

Joli helps her clients to create sustainable, soul-nourishing relationships without sacrificing their career dreams, and she’s going to share some of her best wisdom with us on this episode. She’s sharing how you can tap into your wholeness and build a life and business that you love.

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Transcript

Nicole Laino
Hello, and welcome to the limitless entrepreneur podcast. I’m your host, Nicole Laino. And today I am joined by a very special guest. I’m joined by Julie Hamilton. She’s a PhD, a research psychologist. She’s a certified sex educator, TEDx speaker and a sex and relationship. Coach. I am very excited to have you on the show today. Julie, welcome. Introduce yourself to the audience. Tell them a little bit about you.

Dr. Joli Hamilton
Thanks so much for having me, Nicole. It’s great to be here. Because I totally resonate with the idea of limitless entrepreneurial life. That totally works for me a little bit about me, I am a serial entrepreneur, I can’t even when I try to leave it. The siren song calls me back. I’ve started 12 businesses at this point. I am a self starter, obviously. And I’m a mom of seven teens as well. So I know about juggling a lot of balls all at once. So yes,

Nicole Laino
that’s at the top of your bio as well, like mom of seven teenagers, like not just mom of seven. Yeah, seven teenagers. Yeah,

Dr. Joli Hamilton
it’s like juggling chainsaws. It’s it’s a lot. It’s a lot. But it’s great. And it keeps me on my toes, which is only upping my ability to really show up and do what I need to do in business. And in making sure that I don’t separate my business from my life, because I am now in the teenage phase, which means I’m on a limited timeframe. I don’t want to miss it, right. So I want to be growing, I want to be developing, but I also don’t want to miss them. So I’m all about that juggle.

Nicole Laino
And just a very quick before we get into everything, I’m so curious, what are your kids think teenage kids? Think of having a mom who is a sex educator?

Dr. Joli Hamilton
That is a great question. Because, you know, they all they all have different feelings about it. And the resounding thing that I hear from them is Oh, but they’re also all really skilled now at actually just saying the words, saying the things that they need to say. And so what they don’t do is talk about that with their friends. But what I hear them do when I’m listening to their conversations is the payoff, because they are able to be that person out there in the world with with real information about how relationships work about how sex can go. And so I think they’re secretly okay with it. But they would always rather know a little bit less about my life, so they don’t necessarily tune into every podcast. So it would probably

Nicole Laino
be advisable for them to skip some episodes. Like, definitely, I guarantee you, they will thank you later, if not directly, silently to themselves, they’re going to be very happy, proud and grateful for the way that they grew up. Because you’ve, you’ve raised them to not not denounce or hide their sexuality to not feel like it’s a dirty, weird, overly private thing. Like I think that we kind of overly privatize our sex lives sometimes not that we should not that everybody has to be out with everything, but that there’s some shame that goes along with it.

Dr. Joli Hamilton
Yeah, there’s a big difference between privacy and secrecy. And when we move out of privacy, like it’s great to have private time, my husband and I have signals that the kids clearly understand some of them are as simple as just saying, we’re going upstairs now. And we don’t want to be interrupted. But just there’s a difference between that that’s privacy that’s requesting privacy, and that’s giving them a clear signal without any extra information. But secrecy when things when we accidentally shift over into secrecy, we do open the floodgates of the shame that most of us were raised with some shame around around sex. Even if our parents really tried even my own children. Sure, we’ll grow up with their own little, the little fingerprints of my own hangups we get past these things. So my goal has always been to normalize, and to expand your definition of what normal even means. That’s actually the whole syllabus or my human sexuality class is just expand your definition of what normal sexuality is. And so that’s how I’ve raised my kids. And I think the payoff is everywhere, because now so the oldest are they’re adults. Now they’re, you know, they’re over 18, the oldest three, and they can clearly state that it’s better to know than not know, and they know how to seek out the information they need. And isn’t that what we all want to teach our kids how to seek out the information even if it’s not from us?

Nicole Laino
Absolutely, yeah. Where they don’t feel like they don’t feel like they’re alone, because the world’s not a scary place for me to go explore. Whatever quiet whatever answers I’m seeking I can go openly seek them and find them and not have to do it in this secretive hidden way. So much of the things that we don’t like in this world are because people are hiding things, or we’re taught to hide things, or they weren’t allowed to be who they truly were. And I think that that’s kind of, you know, we can segue into the conversation about entrepreneurship, that I think that the work that I do with people, and what I love to do with people is, because I think that’s what most of us are seeking is, it’s, it’s the unfolding of who we are. And the step in entrepreneurship is always it’s just get one step closer each day to being fully and completely who you are. Yeah. And when you do that, suddenly, things get easier. And you start to find your purpose, and you’re living in your zone of genius, and suddenly, everything’s working.

Dr. Joli Hamilton
Yeah, I am. So totally in alignment with that i My goal in life is to be my own weird self. And it takes courage to step into your weirdness. But the very things that you that you cut off from yourself, while you were growing up, or while you were in a relationship that maybe was an almost fit, or while you were trying to fit into certain groups, or when you were trying to be something for a certain business, for instance, I ran across the gym for a while. So five years, I spent deep in that world. And I had to cut off some parts of myself, because they didn’t fit in that box of people who needed me to show up in a particular way with a particular attitude. When I was able to reclaim those, I’ve now been out of that business for seven years, and reclaiming the parts that I had separated myself. I am, I’m more myself. And now in business, I recognize how much more flow there is how much time I save, because I’m not monitoring myself, and I’m not trying to be limited. I’m not, because that is a real thing we do, we try to limit ourselves into what we imagine other people want us to be in a particular situation. And it’s an entirely a problem of the imagination. It’s not most of the time, it’s not somebody saying to us, please be smaller, most of the time, it’s what we imagine they’re requiring of us. So if we can release ourselves from that imaginary request, and move into our actual self, and trust that the world wants us fully. The world wants us as we are as they it wants us to be in our wholeness. If we can trust that, then our potential is so it’s exponential, it’s an exponential growth potential at that point.

Nicole Laino
Because that’s what’s calling to us. Right? It’s, it’s the whole version of us. Yeah, is calling us to be more that. And what happens is we have to, and it’s not letting go of the, quote unquote, bad things, or the things that we perceive as bad. It’s about loving the shit out of them. Yeah. And, you know, and learning to just radically love and accept ourselves.

Dr. Joli Hamilton
Yeah. You know, I hear people talk about wholeness. And there is a big movement right now, and has been for probably 20 or 30 years, really, all the time that I’ve been an adult and, and doing some self work. It’s this idea that, like you’re born whole, so just return to your wholeness. And I’m okay, I get it. Like I get the idea. However I prefer. So Carl Jung would talk about wholeness a lot. old white guy, so we got to throw out some of what he said, but I’ll keep it I’ll keep all the good stuff. He would talk about wholeness as Yeah, you come to the world whole, absolutely. But it’s an undifferentiated wholeness. It’s unrefined. And it can’t, it can’t really interact in the world, the way that your full potential we’ll be able to. So what we’re trying to do is go through this process of growing up maturing, and that doesn’t finish more 18 doesn’t finish when we’re 25 doesn’t finish more 35. Instead, we get to our midlife somewhere between 30 and 55. And we realize that oh, actually now, now that I’ve done all this build up, and I’ve moved away from that undifferentiated wholeness that maybe I’ve been missing and longing for. But now I’m way out here and I’m all I feel all cut up, I feel all separate, and I feel kind of a jumble we can feel like we’re totally a mess. Putting all that stuff back together. I think of it as remembering, like, remembering yourself, like actually sewing all the parts of yourself back together in a design of your own making, that is differentiated wholeness, that’s the kind of wholeness where I recognize my strengths, my my limitations, my weaknesses, and where those where those are. I figure out what I want to do with that because sometimes, a thing that we’re not good at is actually part of our wholeness, because because we are able to teach it better or We’re able to communicate about it better. I don’t, I don’t need to be here as some sort of perfect hole, I need to be here as an imperfect, unique, one like, multi dimensional hole. It’s a, it’s a wild ride to go through midlife. That whole Yeah, this whole middle section here, it’s and become more and more ourselves. But it learning to face those parts of ourselves that we don’t necessarily. We don’t love easily. We maybe love them, but we love them like, Oh, I really this is so hard and get to that place that you were just saying radical acceptance and real love falling in love with ourself. When we can love ourselves, not in spite of our flaws, but because of them. That’s, that’s where I’m, that’s where I’m headed. And it’s I mean, it’s not a perfect thing. I’m always just in a practice.

Nicole Laino
It’s a daily practice, it’s a moment to moment practice, I think, to accept yourself and to, you know, be aware, when you are judging, when you are trying to lop off some piece of you because it doesn’t fit, it’s not comfortable. You think it’ll make other people uncomfortable? It is your definition, your definition of what safe is to be this and not that thing, and I’m not gonna be that thing. And I think that that’s, that’s what I noticed with a lot of the people that I encounter a lot of the women that I encounter, and I’m curious what you think about, you know, women coming into that middle stage of life, and a lot of people, you know, a little enticed by social media, a little enticed by entrepreneurship and an expanding in this other way. And kind of taking a leap, there’s, there’s, you know, is entrepreneurship, the new like red Ferrari, that, like that everybody wants to take out for a spin and try on to see if they can be that big version of themselves.

Dr. Joli Hamilton
Yeah, I think that you’re onto something there. Because I see more and more people recognizing that they that entrepreneurship is a path. And it can, it can be a spiritual path, it can be a soul path, it can be it can be your soulmate, it can it can be your your seeking your way of seeking and it has, for me, the journey through all of my different ventures has been the journey of me becoming that that’s part of what I’m out there doing. It’s hard. It’s meant that I’ve had to say goodbye to things, it’s meant that I’ve had to stretch. And I do think that as as we the economy is always reinventing itself. And right. And as more and more people recognize that they can bring their unique self into the world, more and more of us have to run independent ventures, because there aren’t going to be these umbrella companies. Who can can they don’t, they won’t know what to do with us. Right? Right. It makes it makes a whole different world. And I think 30 years from now, the world will be unrecognizable, just as it as it has every every turn of a couple generations. We see that happen. And right now, entrepreneurship is a way to choose growth every day. Because if you’re not choosing growth, while you’re an entrepreneur, you’re not going to make any money, and you’re not going to be happy. You’re just gonna

Nicole Laino
love that. I love that entrepreneurship is a way to choose growth every day. I love that that bucket a Yeah, that’s really just, that’s, that’s exactly what it is. If it’s that conscious choice of saying, and you know, and I think that that’s what draws people to it. If you’re not in it for that, and you’re in it for the money and you’re in it for something else. You’re, you’re gonna have either a really tough time, you’re gonna lose a lot of money. Yes, or it’s I’ve

Dr. Joli Hamilton
been there. I’ve been there. My partner and I started a business together 10 years ago, 11 years ago, and he was in it for the money. He was in it because he thought we were getting into a good business venture. And he was like, I you know, I’m kind of sick a corporate life, I’ll just do this. Oh, my goodness, I had no idea how much misery, one could visit on themselves until I watched someone who was not a natural born inclined toward entrepreneurial life, at least at that phase of his life. He wasn’t. And what it meant was he was working against his grain. And he was miserable. And yeah, we lost plenty of money doing that. Because at every step of the way, it wasn’t the path he wanted to be taking. The the best decision we ever made was to stop that to end that and move into a place where he’s now consulting. Again. He’s like, he’s working under one umbrella and he fits in places. There’s nothing wrong with that, if that’s your path. That’s your path. Entrepreneurship is not for every one and that’s fine. Nothing needs to be for everyone.

Nicole Laino
And no, it does not it does not need to be for everyone and i i I completely agree with you like I You see with with, with my husband, very supportive of my business has an entrepreneurial spirit to some degree, but it’s it’s the money side, it’s the, it’s the infinite potential, I think he’s in love with that there’s no caps, there’s no limits. He’s got a creative mind. So when he thinks about, like, we build an app, or we build this, we built a software company together, and all of that stuff. Well, I mean, I built it, he kind of helps me think of ways to approach it and bringing teams together and all of that stuff. But he gets that part. And he gets the money, he gets the passive income side, the growth side is the part that he doesn’t understand. He’s like you’re spending how much on a coach? Yes, what are they really teaching you? And I’m like, it’s not so much that they’re teaching me like I’m learning, but it’s the support. And it’s the, it’s what I believe I can do. It’s how they’re pointing things out in my in my awareness, that are not my awareness. And that party doesn’t quite understand

Dr. Joli Hamilton
that I that is exactly why I have such a hard time describing to a certain type of person exactly what I do, because I’m like, Well, I’ve been down the path, I’ve been down a whole bunch of paths, I studied my way out of a lot of messes. And so now I can stand next to someone and whisper in their ear, the thing that they need to hear, because it was the thing I needed to hear. And that is not something you can do, because of a particular degree or because of anything. It’s it’s just being myself next to someone who’s going through a phase that I’ve been through before. And it is hard to describe to somebody who’s used to going by the numbers, or going by some sort of, I mean, I was trained to write learning objectives. I like them, they’re fine. But the real magic happens in the room, and that that moment when a coach or someone sees, they see what’s going on, and they help you see it for yourself. That’s the magic. It’s not, it won’t be enough for somebody to tell you, I could tell you what your problem is. That’s not it, letting you let you discover it yourself, but also shortening the timeline. So you don’t have to take 25 years to discover. Exactly,

Nicole Laino
exactly. And you know, and every, every moment like that where somebody points, something like that out to you gives you that aha moment gives you that is opening you up to be able to make that assertion, make that observation yourself down the road, like you become better. I always say that that, you know, we’re going back to software speak. But I think that our brain and the way that we operate, I always look at it. Like I’ll say to my clients, I’d be like, Well, what do we think this is? Do we think this is an app problem or an operating system problem, you can try to install a new app. But if you’re on an outdated operating system, we’ve got to upgrade that operating system, this seems like an operating system problem. What are we doing here? What’s the pattern that is perpetuating itself that we’re not seeing? Or that you’re not seeing that’s keeping us keeping you in this loop? That’s the work. That’s what that’s that’s what you walk away with? When you get out of a program. And you’re like, I didn’t get Instagram strategy I thought I was gonna get it didn’t work. And it’s like, Did you learn something about yourself? Are you able to take the next step now, in a new way, and just coming at it from that perspective is so

Dr. Joli Hamilton
powerful. And that’s actually what I do with relationships. So often, people are hoping that when they when they seek out relationship help, or they seek out business help, they’re looking for an answer. But really, it’s being led into a path of deep self discovery. That’s where you’re gonna see big, big change. And I look at most of us get into our major romantic relationships, from a place of hope, blind hope, we just jump and we’re like, it’ll be fine. I have this feeling and it’ll be fine. And there are going to need to be some significant operating system upgrades over the course of a relationship, any relationship that lasts longer than three years is going to need some significant upgrades. And that is hard work. And it’s not, and you’re not going to have to do at the same time. So you have to figure out what what happens when two people have they’re working at different parts of their their own evolution. What do you do with that? And what do you do when you see potential in a relationship and somebody else sees sort of static and they like that they like that status quo? These are the same problems that people have in business. But when we get home, we forget everything we’ve learned about business and we’re like, I have no idea. This is just a problem and I hate it. So what I do is help people like transform translate, we can leverage the skills that we have in business into Oh, we I do know what to do when I have a seemingly intractable problem. I do know what to do when it feels like I’m out of alignment with my overall goal in business. I know what to do there. How do I do it at home too? that’s my that’s what? Yeah,

Nicole Laino
yeah, like skills. It’s you know, it’s, you’re upgrading your operating system for all aspect, you can run all sorts of apps on that operating system. When you’ve got a fully functioning bug free or seemingly bug free system going on, then you can you can, you can move mountains you can do, you can do really amazing things.

Dr. Joli Hamilton
People ask me all the time how I raised seven kids while getting my master’s degree, my PhD, actually got my Bachelor’s, my master’s, my PhD, all while they were and I was always running a business too. And it’s because I was constantly doing the backend work. I was keeping the system as bug free as possible. And I was addressing those problems. I was going in and doing those overnight overhauls that feel like they take too much time and you wish you didn’t have to do them. But that’s what made it possible to on the outside looks like like I was performing impossible tasks. But the system could run smoothly. Because we were doing that back end work. It’s worth it.

Nicole Laino
Yeah, I want to go back to one thing that you said earlier, you you said that, that you know that your partner was was working against his brain. And I’m curious if we could take that concept. And just kind of let’s just apply that going against your grain with just the the listeners for this the show. So there’s there’s a woman listening right now, who wants to know if she’s going against her grain things aren’t working. And she’s wondering what, what needs to happen. I’m curious what your definition of going against the grain is, and how that can show up?

Dr. Joli Hamilton
Yeah, so going against the grain for me is, it’s the signals that you are receiving from a whole bunch of different fronts from different sensory fronts, and intellectual friends that tell you that you are not on a path that you want to be on. You’re the first thing I have people do to identify that is turn to the body. Because the body has so much information for us. And I’m sure I’m not saying anything that hasn’t been said before, when I say have you actually stopped, allowed yourself to quiet and checked in and not checked in with your thoughts. It’s so easy to go through, I’m gonna go check in and you go right to your thoughts. Nope, go to the body. And I am a Myers Briggs E and TJ. So I resisted this for so, so long, go to the body, and let it tell you how it actually feels not your emotions, your sensations. If your sensations are out of whack, so if your digestion is out of whack, if you are feeling weight, or heaviness or tightness, or type a heavy vibration, or your or ringing Enos there’s all these different ways we can describe these sensations. And when we go there and check, and we’re like, oh, actually, everything’s a mess. That’s the signal that I’m going against my own grain. It’s you’re out of alignment with what your your what I would call what your soul needs, your what your, your whatever you showed up here to do. And you might not know yet, maybe this was fine this month doesn’t even have to be a failure, because you may have traveled down this path to be sure it’s not yours. Sometimes that’s the only way to find out, we go down the path, we find out what’s there, and we turn around and you haul ass out of there to go find a different path. That’s the only way. And when you get back out of there, you’re not starting from the same place you were before you’re starting with all the information gathered, and a renewed sense of purpose to find the actual path. If you have those sensations of misalignment in your body, that was not your path. It’s such a clear answer. There are a million other ways we can tune in. But that one is so simple. And it’s right there for us all the time.

Nicole Laino
And then what happens then so what’s the what’s that next step then for them? So I’ve determined that I have these feelings in my body I can I can feel these sensations. They are not good. They are sounding the alarm bells that I’m on the wrong path. Yeah, what are the steps you take to get to the right path.

Dr. Joli Hamilton
So I’m all about an action plan. I think that this is where we have to turn to our actual strengths, something that we’ve established six as a success point for us over the long haul. If you’re an organizer, you’re going to turn straight to a list and you’re gonna make an action step plan for how I get out of the situation I’m in so that I can reestablish, but if you are the kind of person who talks your way out of problems and that has always worked for you. Go get a friend, get a whiteboard and talk about this problem until it is all out. Let them take notes for you and talk it all out. I mean, this is real. I get really practical here because so often when we have walked down this path that doesn’t work for us, we feel totally stuck. You’re it’s like you’re physically jammed into a little teeny corner. And it feels like there’s no solution. So you need to turn to your, your strategies for successful action. So what has moved you forward in the past? For me, it’s usually that talking solution, I need to talk about it, no amount of writing is going to get me out of there, no amount of signing up for things is going to get me out of there. But finding a person who can allow me to verbalize it, that will, I have a friend who I’ve worked with several times who absolutely has to turn to her meditation practice, she has to no matter what she has to return to that, and she has to do it for like a month before her next step will be clear. And that month often feels excruciating. She’s like, I’m losing money, I feel stuck. But by the end of the month, the answers are clear. So this is again, it’s about getting to know yourself. But I’m willing to bet that your listeners most of them, have been doing this long enough to have had some successes, had some failures, and identify one of those ways that they are able to tune in, and that’s your route out, my route to safety isn’t going to be yours. My route to safety is through talking. And then through studying that that those are my two that’s and that’s the order I have to do them in. I have to talk, then I study. And sometimes that study comes in the form of people and sometimes it comes in the form of books, depends.

Nicole Laino
I’m glad that you brought that up, because that’s something that I have been paying very, very close attention to with myself lately. Because what’s what’s my method out? What’s my my method? Because it doesn’t have to be to trash the entire thing. And because it could just be a moment of being like why why do I don’t want to work right now? Why am I not feeling in alignment? I don’t think I need to throw the baby out with the bathwater. I don’t need a new business or anything like that. But I do need to connect to something. And I’m not doing that right now. So I have been paying very close attention to what works for me. And I’m like, I’m a lot like you where I like to talk things out. But I’ve realized I need a lot of whitespace I need I need an I think that that’s kind of universal, I think that it’s never to do more. You kind of have to you got to take a breath and come away from the problem, because you’re too close to it. And the doing just ends up perpetuating a bad feeling, at least in my experience. I haven’t seen anybody do their way out and be like, that was totally the answer. The only

Dr. Joli Hamilton
time I saw Austin, right? The only time I think that that is good, that’s actually exactly that. I have had clients where I have recommended to them to basically run headlong into the wall. Because they are they’re caught in a loop of their own creating. And what they need is total exhaustion. So I would recommend the same thing I would recommend if I were physically training them, I’m like, okay, cool, we’re gonna go really blast it out. And you are going to you’re going to work to physical exhaustion, and then I will see you back here in one day. And we’re going to talk this all out. Because when they have actually gotten themselves into that stupor of exhaustion, then they’re ready to say, Okay, wait, I don’t think I need another marketing strategy. I don’t think, okay, I know what I don’t need, because that felt terrible. It’s, it’s kind of a mean trick to play on someone. And I save it as a move of last resort. But when I was a doer, I always thought that doing was my way out. Sometimes, if that’s your mode, what you have to do is run the marathon. And right after a marathon, there’s this moment of clarity, where like, Oh, I could be anything I wanted. And the trick there is to hear the be I could be anything I wanted, which doesn’t mean I can do anything I want. We have some physical, spiritual, emotional stuff that may stop us from doing some of the things we want. But I believe we can transcend those in the realm of being it’s, it’s a trick, it’s not easy. Like it’s, it’s a it’s a leap to get there. It’s not going to be easy.

Nicole Laino
I think what’s interesting and what I’ve experienced with myself and with clients too, is that that you know, better to spend time finding the alignment than finding the next thing to do when something isn’t working. And to ask ourselves, like what would make me feel aligned right now? What would feel good? Like how can I get into feeling good for just a moment and when you feel good, then the idea comes then you have space in your brain to kind of accept an idea and and have it have it blossom when you’re not creating space for it. That can sometimes be you know, and I’ll just share like a very quick story. I I’ve was running really hard. I was definitely feeling like, I don’t know what to do. I don’t know what the next thing is to do feeling like I was in perpetual motion. And then I was this was just last week. I was standing on something in my backyard and I I fell off. And I like and I burst into tears, not necessarily from the paint, I had my very expensive camera in my hand. So I kind of fell to break the fall of the camera. So I didn’t break my camera. So I hit my elbow really hard and busted up my leg. And luckily, I was really fine. But I burst into tears. And I said, I was like, I just realized how much motion I was not allowing to come out. And, and I do a lot of work on this stuff. And I lost it. And I was like, I think that this was literally me the universe knocking some sense into me. Yeah, and I think the message here is that I need to stop. And I took like, two days, not off. Like I still did my obligation, but I did nothing extra. And I took walks, and I played in space. And I was like, let me just feel what let me just try to get into alignment with something real. And so much clarity. Yeah, so many more answers. So much more like, can work again, like in. So sometimes you know that they, there’s a lesson or there’s there’s a gift in everything.

Dr. Joli Hamilton
So you’re reminding me of something I require all of my students to do. So I am also a professor, and I teach undergrad human sexuality, which is a fascinating space to be in, because you’re gonna have all these people who really have no idea what they just signed up for. But it’s about to get real personal and real deep, real fast. The very first thing we do on the first day is create a plan for them a safety plan, how are they going to deal with that moment where everything is not is awful, everything’s horrifying. And they’re going to be in the middle of a semester, and it’s going to be busy and all of that. So they’re going to have all the busyness but then there’s also going to be this pent up emotional stuff, we’re going to get to some part of sexuality that like triggers them or sets them off or makes them remember something who knows. It’s key that they set up this self care plan as an as an actionable thing to do at the beginning before they think they need it. And I make it a requirement, it actually has one of the highest grades of the whole semester. And it’s so simple, you know, I make them find a piece of music that they can turn to a friend that they can call a the exact moment what when they will recognize what will the feeling be, I’ll make them remember, what’s the feeling gonna be. And I make them write it all down. And when they write all this stuff down, and there are a few other things on it. So it’s a one page, but it’s a one page that then when I watched them spinning up, boom, back to that. And some of them Survival Guide. It’s a survival guide. Yeah. And some of them that’s the first time. And I recognized that that is not a thing we get taught to do. We get told about self care. But we don’t get told to create a safety version of that self care. But it sounds like you’ve recognized it, the universe literally knocked you over and you’re like, Whoa, okay, and gauge my safety protocol, what do I need to do, I got a call, I gotta pull this back. And let yourself you have so much when wisdom, but you have to be able to access it, we can’t access it. When we’re strung out when we’re when we’re all when we feel like we have to be and do everything all at once.

Nicole Laino
Yeah, and it’s and the more I go on the the longer I go on, the older I get, the more I pay attention to that stuff. And the more I pay attention to that stuff, the more I lean into feeling good, the more I lean into feeling, taking care of myself, and not in a necessarily bubble bath sort of way, but really looking at it because it’s not a bubble bath at the end of the day. It’s it’s saying that, like I’ve just recently looked at myself and I said like, I am overscheduled Yes, I need to block out more whitespace on my calendar, I need more time off. And not necessarily off like where my nanny doesn’t come and I watch my son like I need I need time. I need CEO time and CEO time to rise to that level is me having enough space to see the next step. Yes, because when you’re running you’re not you’re you’re you’re busy looking for you’re not you’re not looking at you’re not looking down the road, and you’re not have there’s no space for ideas. And that just leads to burnout. And that just leads to just too much going on. So I I love this conversation. And I love like the perspective that you brought to this and just the interesting way that you look at all of this I love it I’m I love the show because I get to speak with so many people who have different and similar views to me and just get to be exposed to all of these different perspectives. So thank you so much for being on and sharing your story and sharing all of your knowledge and wisdom with with me and with the audience. Thank you so much for being here.

Dr. Joli Hamilton
You’re so welcome. It was a pleasure to talk to you and I love that you’re taking this direction. entrepreneurship can be that right that that move that our that our soul desires us to make. If we allow it to be it doesn’t have to be just business.

Nicole Laino
Yeah, I think that that’s how it becomes a pleasure. And that’s how it becomes like, you don’t get knocked down by the failures, because they’re not failures. They’re your lessons, and it’s just like this is somehow making me stronger. So, so thank you. So please tell the listeners where they can stay in touch with you. How can they how can they get more of you and what you offer? Yeah, so

Dr. Joli Hamilton
people can find me pretty easily. Um, my website is Jolie hamilton.com, that’s J, O Li and Hamilton, like the musical nice and easy. And if you pop on there, you’ll see that I work with women entrepreneurs, and what I do is help them figure out how to strategize the absolute best life they could possibly have, which includes digging into their relationship, their sexuality, all the messy stuff that nobody else talks about. And doing it from an action forward place. We don’t have to just stay in our feelings. This is this is about transcending that, that either or have feelings or not. So people can find me there, you can book a strategy call. And if you’re interested in just learning more and getting a flavor of me, you can find my book project relationship, the entrepreneurs action plan for passionate, sustainable love on Amazon.

Nicole Laino
Lovely, well, we’ll link all of that up in the show notes. So don’t feel pressured to write it all down. If you’re driving or something, we’ve got you all hooked up, just hop on over to the show notes. And you’ll be able to just click a little link and be brought over to all of those resources. Thank you so much for listening. Julie, thank you for being here. This was just such a pleasure to talk to you. And I know that everybody got so much value out of this interview. And if you’re still listening, if you made it all the way to the end, I am so grateful for you. I’m so grateful that you stayed with us to the end of this conversation. And I want you to remember that you are only limited by the limitations that you accept when you stop accepting those limitations. That is when you become limitless. Have a great rest of your day everyone we’ll see you on the next one.

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